When Aeropilates Changed My Life - by Sebastiano “Bastian”
Marjolein walks me through how to do the side-sitting twist during a break at QVC Italy.
It was 2009 when I first heard the words “pilates, reformer and cadillac”. The owner of the company where I worked used to treat herself to these expensive sessions at a renowned studio in town. Occasionally I would pick her up in the car and drive back to the office, but that was as much as I knew about pilates. Otherwise, my life was a bit like Emily's in The Devil Wears Prada.
Whilst I loved my job, I was under a lot of stress: long overtime hours because I always want to do everything perfectly and constantly trying to prove I was worthy (like Schiffer). I knew that I had to begin to devote more time for myself, and I had organized the little free time I had left in a meticulous game of tight schedules. At night, before going to bed, I would prepare my clothes for the office, neatly folded in the gym bag that I would already put in the car, my gym clothes ready to be put on, and everything I needed for breakfast lined up on the table. When I awoke at 6.30am I washed, dressed, drank coffee with 4 cookies, and by 6:50 I was on my way: at least I could avoid the morning traffic jams! I would arrive at the gym around 7:15 (I had convinced the owners to let me in with the cleaners). I would work out until 8:15, then shower, get dressed, leave at 8:45, to be at the office by 9:00am. The exit time at the end of then day was often an open question, but the guilt of not working hard enough would always remain.
Having reached the breaking point, I moved to another company: a new life, but that anxiety of having to fill every second of every day was still there. I added the vegetarian diet, some supplements to combine with homeopathic remedies, and had cut out coffee, sugar, milk, white flours, and I don't remember what else. I had also managed to add 2 twice-a-week evening classes of Body Tonic and Choreographic Step (I wasn't getting a step right!!!!). It seemed a perfect balance, with sculpted abs and maybe even a little underweight. Until one day, this sand castle completely collapsed.
I had just returned from Werchter in Belgium. I had won a ticket, along with a handful of fans from all over the world, to get backstage at Madonna's concert (who spoke to me and handed me the microphone during the concert). It all sounded great at that moment but just 5 months later I would no longer be able to hug my dad, ask him for advice in moments of doubt, and feel protected.
All that perfect organization was useless, motivation that was driven solely by stress was useless, wash board abs seemed useless. My priority was solely to be with him. The emptiness I felt when he left, and which still stays with me today, had completely disrupted everything. It was a black hole: everywhere I looked I didn't know which way to go. I had to fill that void somehow, but it was no longer an orderly, organized system: it was random throwing in. And even that seemed useless.
The new job was a position of responsibility. I thought my dad would be proud of that: the truth was that he would love me unconditionally no matter what I chose to do. His greatest concern was that where I worked they would love me. He wanted me to be happy.
This new job was also a major challenge, and at a time when the company was struggling, I worked even harder because I did not want to give up. I was going to the gym, but in recent years I often had back pain; something my dad had also suffered from frequently. I thought that my time had evidently come!
I was treating myself with anti-inflammatories, painkillers, sessions of all kinds - but without working on the origin of this discomfort. I only knew that it was important to work harder and harder, waiting for the reward of a " well done " or a promise made - which did not come and which, by an absurd mechanism, pushed me to do more. My body took care of it and finally said that was enough: "You don't want to stop? I'll stop you!"
The photo taken from the 2015 medical test just before getting stuck in bed and a photo from 2018.
In 2015 the pain became very severe. I took a medical test in an effort to do some rehabilitation, and in one of the exercises I had to bend down and bring my hands to the ground. I could only reach the middle of my calf. I had several checkups and all the doctors were asking me what physically heavy work I was doing: it looked like one of the vertebrae was completely gone, but I couldn't understand what I had been doing wrong all those years to get to such a messy situation.
I still remember the day I had an appointment with the surgeon who would later do the surgery: the pain was getting worse and worse and driving was agonising. I was alone and at one point, while driving, the pain was so piercing that I cried all the way to the hospital. The surgeon scheduled surgery four months later.
Soon after, despite the exercises, my back completely collapsed and I could no longer move. The body had decided for me.
I was immobilised in bed, constantly searching for the least painful position. A neighbor came almost every day to give me shots of anti-inflammatories and painkillers, but the pain kept increasing. I was prescribed other medications, even ones containing oxycodone: the list was endless, I was seeing angels (and that is not a metaphor), but the pain I was feeling was still there, though muffled.
The day I went back to work: my office full of balloons! ♥️
It says: "Welcome back! Don't ever do that again."
At last, after the operation that revealed a situation thankfully better than the one first diagnosed and after an unexpected crisis of abstinence from those drugs, a new phase finally began.
Too bad I was completely unbalanced and all those shots had left permanent damage: I felt like Quasimodo; my lumbar area stiff and the back muscles of my thigh in terrible pain.
At the doctor's suggestion, I started physiopilates sessions, on the floor but it left me totally unbalanced and without results. I was demoralised and I felt incapable and lost. The physiotherapist kept stubbornly repeating to me that I was doing the wrong exercise, that I had to stay aligned, that the exercise was not performed properly, that I would not get results: a nice boost of motivation at the modest sum of € 80 per hour! In hindsight, for my rehabilitation, it was clear that Pilates on the floor could not work. Moreover, the belief - unfounded - that I could still unintentionally hurt myself had remained in my head. I felt wrong, clumsy, and de-motivated.
I began to look for an alternative and started a 3-month program at another center where I was offered - one more time - Pilates. Given the first negative experience, I was definitely skeptical and the first thing I had thought was, "Again 'this Pilates?!" The physiotherapist showed me this huge machine, the reformer, explained the theory and seemed convinced of the results I could achieve. Luckily, I'm curious: I got on the reformer and it only took a few minutes to realize that something completely different was going on from what I had been doing up to then. It was Pilates, but it had nothing to do with what had been going on the floor. Movements that appeared so simple actuallymade me feel my body again, which by now, through mistreatment, had become a container that was too heavy to carry around.
Every session I felt stronger, more elastic...and also more relaxed. Too bad it cost so much and I couldn't afford all those sessions much longer. Buying a reformer was not an easily feasible option, given also the space it would require.
A short time later I was at a friend's house, and he had tuned the TV to a channel I did not yet know: QVC Italy. After the Yankee Candles show, there was this blonde lady; she was using a tool that looked like a reformer: it was smaller, it folded in two, but she was doing more exercises than I had done with the physiotherapist. Marjolein told of being 62 years old (I was 39) and that Pilates had changed her life: I wanted that energy, that flexibility, and that vitality. It was a TSV, sold-out quickly so I had to wait for the reassortment. In April I finally bought it, and soon after I joined the Aeropilates QVC Italy Facebook group (there were less than 100 of us), got in touch with Marjolein, and we began a friendship that has lasted to these days and has led me to now becoming a presenter on QVC Italy where I have the privilege of telling other people about the miracle of Aeropilates.
Over the years, I talked not only about Aeropilates with Marjolein: what struck me was her concept of life, this Lighterliving, which focused on simplicity as the best and easiest way to live life and to love oneself. We had so many things in common: we had investigated spirituality in so many religions, tried so many diets, sought centering in so many very similar ways. It was the union of body and spirit that I was looking for but could not put together.
From there my passion for Pilates also grew, reading books, manuals and articles. The more I read the more I had validations of how much information, concepts and studies were condensed into Marjolein's videos, made simple and accessible with her unique style. The fact that it was accessible to so many people and allowed them to take care of their bodies in such a profound yet simple way was an inspiration to me. It was not about having sculpted abs, but it was something much more important to me that went deeper.
That's why Aeropilates has changed my life: it's a simple, sustainable and effective way of loving ourselves, doing something good and kind for our bodies ( as we only have one), our minds and our spirits.
Marjolein, Sara and me at QVC Italy during a break.
During the shows, I met Sara Celeste, a former (and beloved) QVC Italy host, who had told on-air her incredible story of transformation through Aeropilates, and I can only agree with her thoughts:
"We don't follow an image or a concept of beauty, in fact we need to get rid of the stereotypes that are proposed to us about thinness. I simply talk about the most important thing for all of us: learning to love ourselves. For me, that was just the push toward myself."
First of all, ourselves for ourselves.
One sentence, which sums up my adventure (and which I hope will inspire you too) was said by Joseph Pilates himself in a 1946 interview: "I just want everyone to learn to be alive." (1)
And that is my wish for you, too.
(1) PM Newspaper, December 6, 1946